The Beginning, The End, and a Door to a New Beginning

The time was only 9:00 and I already feel the chills. It was almost funny, since it was supposed to be a warm night. Oh, the Irony! A warm night in winter when I am given up by my closest friend. The words would flow easily at least. If I could bring myself to apologize, perhaps that would have made things better? But unfortunately, that would be impossible. You, who understands my situation, you, who made the promise, you who I need. Why do I feel this way? Since it’s her that I love, there can be no room for you as more than a friend. Except you are just that. Except that I love you also. Do you understand?


Do you understand? Could you understand? The tear in my heart born of treachery from within? The rift created between what I want and what can never be? What is now and what can never pass? Do you understand, my dear? There’s no way around it. You, my second love, her, my first. I want to make them happy. And thus, creates the trouble. Sympathy pains for the first? Sympathy pains for the second? Sympathy pains for the third?


Do you understand? The hole that you’ve thrown me to? The feelings and thoughts that are born of my own traitorous heart? It cannot, will not be. No matter how you wish it. As the heart goes, I must follow, so forgive my transgressions. Once a traitor always a traitor. The pain of giving pain. The pain of receiving pain. Sympathy pains for the first.


Do you Understand? I look down the hole, oh the inevitable, never-ending hole that you throw me to. I find no stones to throw, and thus shed a tear instead. A drop. Your drop. It falls, down, down, down, further and further, until you hear the tiny sound of it finally finding the bottom. The Bottom? I peer, into this hole that you have thrown me to, and I find my release. Sympathy pains for the second


Do you understand? The bottom? Perhaps there is salvation after all. No, dear, we cannot be, but take this plunge and perhaps the rift will heal. Bear with me, the feelings are ending. The words stop flowing,. And I fall.


Do you understand?